Once I was talking to a friend and he asked me to define love. Easy, right? But when I began with putting them into words, I couldn’t. Why is it that no person has been able to define the most common feeling? Because there are some things that can’t be defined. Everything doesn’t need an explanation. Being practical in life is good, but there will be time when all your experiences and knowledge flows out of your brain. It will take over your mind. What you think is love, is truly not. You need to elevate your mind. That’s when love happens. Is it the feeling that makes me wants to jump out with joy? Or is it that touch that makes me wants to skip across the clouds? I wonder if it is love when I feel happy to see his face, or is it love when I embrace him passionately? It’s strange but words seem to welcome poverty when we try to find the meaning of love.
Perhaps I still don’t know what love is, because no one has ever told me what love is. I’ve only read about it in books and listened to songs that try to explain the meaning of love. I’ve heard songs that say love is like a river, some songs that say love is like an undying flame, and yet others that say love is like a warm breeze. How can love be so many different things and yet be the same?
But I do know that my world stops when I’m with him. I burn inside and warmth fills within me as he clasps my hand in his. I smile or rather say blush whenever I see him. I can’t stop blushing even after he leaves. I lose sight of the world when I gaze into his eyes. I don’t know what it is that makes me weak when he hugs me. He makes me feel special when he’s around me. But I did tell him that I loved him, but I’ve been thinking about that ever since the day I told him that, is it love really, what I feel for him?
When you were born, your parents didn’t wish for a child with great intellect or good looks. They only wished for a child whom they can love to their fullest. It took me one second to realize what love is all about, but it took me eighteen years to put them into words. We all have been saying it to so many people but never bothered how deep this can truly mean. Love is the deepest thing one can ever find. Look deep into love, and then you will understand everything better.
And then I realised that love is a mixture of so many unsaid feelings. Things that we want our beloved to know. Things that our heart wants to say but the fear of rejection drag it down.
But ‘love’ was too small a word to explain everything I felt for him. The meaning of love was just too simple. It was a feeling that I still can’t describe. I wondered if that was how love felt, like a beautiful sight that just can’t be explained even in a million words, but I knew it was special. I just couldn’t find it justifiable to explain so many intangible feelings in a little four letter word. But I did, and on that night, the sun shone in my heart and the bliss of the first kiss we shared felt like a never ending fairy tale. You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
When I confessed it to him that I love him, I didn’t really bothered what his response would be. At that time, I wanted to tell him everything that I was feeling for him. Everything. There was no other way to express it. So, that’s when I said, “I love you.”
At that very particular moment I realised, why I love you were termed as the three-magical words. These three words define everything that we feel.
When I told him “I love you,” I meant forever. No one here knows what the future holds. No one knows what is going to happen, but when I said “I Love You,” it meant that I plan on loving you for as long as I live and I hope that nothing ever gets in the way of that. I wouldn’t have said it, if I couldn’t paint a picture of our future.
“I can’t promise you forever, because that’s not long enough.”
– Jasinda Wilder, Falling into Us
“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soul mate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting; take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soul mates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.”
― Criss Jami, Venus in Arms
When I told him “I love you,” I meant commitment. It doesn’t mean “let me love you but let me go because I need to love these other people too.” It doesn’t mean “I love you, I really do but I’m going to talk to this other person too and keep my options open.” If I tell you that I love you, there is NO ONE ELSE. I’m committed to you and only you. I love you, and I don’t need anyone else.
“We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.”
― Cornel West, Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life
When I told him “I love you,” I meant loving the dark parts too. We all know that life isn’t always filled with sunshine and daisies. Sometimes, it’s a big black cloud and a clap of thunder. “I love you” means loving your person at their worst, loving their mistakes and their hardships, and sticking by their side through it all. If I say “I love you,” it means that I love you in the sunshine, but I love you in a storm too.
There might turn up a situation where he comes to me and says, “I am scared of you. I tell you things about myself that I can’t even tell myself.” The time will come when I will start loving you because I will start accepting your dark sides and failures as a part of you and our life, together.
When I told him “I love you,” I meant sacrifice. There is no “if” in “I love you.” It isn’t “I love you if you do things my way.” It isn’t “I’ll love you, but only if you agree to do this”. To say “I love you” means that sometimes, you’re going to have to give up on what you and only you want. If I tell you that I love you, and you just happen to absolutely hate the blue cushions that I picked out for our living room sofa, I promise that we can find one that we both like. No matter how much I thought that blue cushions would go with our curtains (because it did). It’s not all about me. Life is a combination of Adjustments and Compromises. “Adjust” when someone wants to be with you and “Compromise” when you want to be with someone. This is real art of Living.
“Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.”
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
When I told him “I love you,” I meant “I promise we can get through anything.” There will be fights. There will be tears. There will be struggles. There is no couple in the world that doesn’t go through these things. “I love you” doesn’t mean “run away when things get tough.” If I love you, I will stay and I will fight for you. If I tell you “I love you,” I promise you that I will never give up on you, no matter what. One can’t have a relationship without any fights, but, one can make the relationship worth the fight. It’s not the fighting that makes the relationship stronger. It’s what takes place after the fighting; the making up. It’s coming to the realisation that relationship is more important that the differences between the individuals. It involves acts of forgiveness and acceptance of one’s mistakes. We fight, and learn something new about our partner. That’s how it works. Real relationships aren’t perfect and perfect relationships aren’t real.
“If you love her. If you want her to stay. Fight for her.”
― Janet Gurtler The Truth About Us
When I told him “I love you,” I meant “I love you, and I mean it.” Love isn’t something that you throw around to pass the time. Love is forever. It is a commitment. It is a sacrifice. It is stronger than anything else.
There is nothing in this world more special than love. Quit telling people that you love them when you don’t really love them. Quit saying “I love you” just so that you can get what you want. Do not tell someone you love them if you don’t see a future with them. “I love you” is so much more than words. When and if I tell someone that I love them, I mean it. I promise, if you wait to say it until you mean it, it will feel like nothing you’ve ever felt before.